No thoughts for a while. My apologies. Please hold. Here is a picture of a dog with his chicken friend to enjoy until normal service is resumed.

Thought of the Day

Fact: Scientists have found that men's hair grows faster when they think they are about to have sex.

Conclusion: Men with a lot of hair are fooling themselves most of the time.

Some moneyspinning ideas from the white-hot crucible of my creativity:

• Possibly the last uniformed profession to remain unexploited by strippergrams: the lollipop lady. I think this is a winner. They could suddenly jump out in front of your car and start taking their clothes off. Could play around with those big stop signs, too.
• Breakfast food that you can eat in the shower because you've woken up too late. I am thinking something like porridge in a great big toothpaste-type tube. Still need to develop this as you would need your hands free to wash yourself. Possibly it would be better to use some sort of waterproof nosebag.
• A call-out service for bikes. Sparked by the fact that I got another puncture on Monday. The pattern of my life lately seems to be that I ride my bike to some almost inconceivably distant point, the tyre goes flat and I am forced to literally carry my bike the many, many miles back home. Should stop now as I checked the tyre and found that I apparently ran over a syringe some time in the recent past. Unwoo.